Now we are getting out and about more, I have become more dependent on the kindness (and wheels) of others. But how should I reward you?

Until recently I was qualified to drive a four-figure cc motorcycle. Oh, the memories of misspent youth! Now a non-driver on any number of wheels, I rely on a posse of people – not just my husband – to drive me to places and activities.

It’s nearly two years since I sat in the driving seat of a car, and I’ve decided I’m not going to try driving again. Bright and perky in the morning, I could probably drive myself 35 miles to the seaside, but coming back, mini, er…

                  …absences in the afternoon could last long enough to wrap myself around a tree. The meds are working so well in other ways that I don’t want to fiddle with them.

If you can’t find it, grind it!

My daughter will tell you I was never a very good driver anyway, crunching the gears and rarely getting out of second. I don’t want to be one of those old ladies who wipes out another old lady in the health centre car park. And don’t even start me on parallel parking.

So I rely on the kindness of others – but I feel slightly awkward.  When I offer to pay for petrol, they will say something like:

“No, it’s fine, I was going there anyway.”
“I just enjoyed your company.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it.”

If I send a gift, they’ll say:
“Oh you shouldn’t have!”

Thing is, folks, I do worry about it. I should have. If I don’t offer something, I feel mean. And now there are more opportunities to get out and about I feel a whole lot meaner.

Here’s the poll

If I offer to pay my way, how to you want to be rewarded?

  • Money
  • Books
  • Gin
  • Chocolate
  • Flowers
  • The entrance fee and/or a meal/coffee at our destination
  • Karma/reward in heaven of your choice
  • Bask in the warm glow of philanthropy
  • A contribution to your favourite charity
  • Other

Driver or passenger, please tell me what arrangements you feel most comfortable with.

 Play > Big Yellow Taxi > Joni Mitchell

Photo by Jake Heinemann from Pexels


4 Comments

Rosie Radcliffe · 12 June 2021 at 8:47 am

Having not driven for more than 10 years, I know exactly what you’re talking about but don’t have the answer either! We have a Motability car with Himself as named driver, but I feel overly reliant on him to take me everywhere. If other people provide transport it’s difficult … not being very helpful am I?

Di · 12 June 2021 at 9:25 am

Oh this is one I can answer! I would not want any reward a simple “thanks” would be more than enough. I would just be happy to help. However, I totally understand your view. Therefore, my choice would be donation to charity. That way way we are both happy. Don’t think I need to say which charity😊

Katie · 12 June 2021 at 11:46 am

A combination of Karma and warm basking always suits me whenever I do things for other people. However, as others have said, I do understand where you’re coming from so if it helps you feel better I’d opt for either the entrance fee (as long as it’s proportionate to the additional time/effort/fuel expended) or a charitable donation. But people wouldn’t make themselves available to help out if they didn’t want to on the whole so you can rest easy really 🙂

Sheila · 17 June 2021 at 12:05 am

I enjoy a spot of basking in warm glows of philanthropy and a little chunk of karma will never go amiss either; also – you do yourself an injustice, bask yourself in the warm glow of the fact that people might just be happy to enjoy your company. But like Katie above, a refreshment of appropriate type if at a destination is often reward enough.

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