Living in the moment is all very well, but what about all the other moments in my life, past, present and future? Don’t they matter, too?
At last the days of the week on my meds dispenser match the days in the Radio Times, and Only Connect is only aired on Mondays. All my Neuro Heroes instructors are back in action after a hard-earned break, during which I realised just how much I needed their eagle-eyed attention. Solo, I just don’t push myself as hard. We can all get back to some semblance of normality, whatever that is.
We had a quiet, stress-free Christmas, with only one noisy family day chez nous. No more five-hour drives south and back again in dubious weather – my daughter and her family are just 12 minutes away.
So what I have been doing, apart from watching the entire Wallace and Gromit back catalogue? (I’m always delighted to spot something new, however many times I’ve watched them)? We’ve been out for some nice walks in the sunshine, which kindly showed up on a few days and blasted a few kilowatt hours through the roof. On Christmas Day there wasn’t a cloud in the big Suffolk sky.
It’s cold and there’s been snow for the first time since we moved here nearly three years ago. But daily I repeat the mantra that I don’t care how cold it is, as long as the sun is shining.
Hope I DAI before I get old
On the greyer days, I have been making satisfying inroads into my Digital Assets Inventory. This is a posh name for a secure list of all the stuff that’s in my head, my PC and my phone. I want trusted people to be able to find this quickly and easily (and untrusted people, not at all!). My will and two lasting powers of attorney are done and dusted, but they are only the tip of my administrative iceberg.
I’m a spreadsheet geek, and I’ve actually found this digital declutter fun! Some may argue that I shouldn’t dwell on the future, but that I should live in the present, carpe diem, fill my bucket list, be a party animal. I say ‘Humbug’! (but then, I say ‘Humbug’ to anyone who tells me I ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ anything).
Don’t look back in anger
Other folk may say ‘let bygones be bygones’ or ‘don’t dwell in the past’. As I write this, I have been on this planet for 27,195 days. Some of them have been absolutely brilliant. Others really sad. Many just humdrum, routine and unmemorable.
Many people only know me for the 2,320 days since my Parkinson’s diagnosis. I’m so much more than that! If I focus only on being in the moment as a mindfulness exercise, I am wasting valuable nostalgia minutes reliving the brilliant ‘bygones’. (I love that word). I want to write them all down and share them. To relax, I prefer to sit quietly and remind myself of happy times past – the people I’ve met, the places I’ve been, the things I’ve done, the food I’ve eaten.
Temporal model of healthcare
In A Christmas Carol, Jacob Marley and the ghosts invited Scrooge to reconsider his life from three time perspectives – past, present and future. It seems that there may be therapeutic benefit in doing this. Occupational therapist Dr Denise Harris works with people with a wide range of neurological conditions, including motor neurone disease (MND). She and her colleagues at Manchester Metropolitan University encourage a temporal model of healthcare (Harris et al 2023). They argue that person-centred care is not just about fixing today’s problems of symptom control and declining function. It can also acknowledge the person’s lived-through past and their anticipated future. Encouraging people to share their life stories helps them stay connected with others and still be, essentially, the same person inside. Given time for discussion of their anticipated future, people with neurological conditions can stay involved in choices and decision-making, and remain in control for as long as possible.
So while I’m busy seizing the day, I can simultaneously gaze forward into my crystal ball and back through my 20:20 hindsight goggles. I’ll be a happier person for it.
Reference
Denise A. Harris BSc Hons OT, MPhil, MRes, PhD, Kirsten Jack RN, PhD, Christopher Wibberley MSc, PhD (2023). The need to consider ‘temporality’ in person-centred care of people with motor neurone disease. Journal of Evaluation in Clinical Practice: 29 (5): 691–673.
https://doi.org/10.1111/jep.13854
Play> Don’t stop (thinking about tomorrow) > Fleetwood Mac
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